It's just the fact that we have to perform in public the next Saturday.
And in the midst of rehearsals, running around, and always in the never ending action of meeting the ends each month, now all of the sudden there is a flow of men around me.
And they want to see me, meet me, probably have something more with me, fast with me, penetrate into me.. The usual staff.
However, I'm not the cheating type. And I know what I want. A man around my age, who will take care of me, and plus love me.
Uranus is approaching the opposition aspect to my Venus, and I can feel it as a constant temptation to do awful things.
Last night I had a conversation with American guy living here, who just wanted texting and I was so enraged he doesn't want to take me to a proper date.
I felt sad, lonely, depressed. Again with the tears in my eyes.
Heck, this morning I have 3 of them fighting for the dating term.. In the midst of our rehearsals, in the midst of running around...
Yes, multiple dating. Just dinners and talks... Yes, but that's easier said than done. If they meet me they want more of me... And I don't have a day to put them inside...
Tomorrow evening, the same place. 13-years younger guy.
He was the fastest.
Will he cancel?
Will he be reliable?
Two nights ago B. called from Santa Monica.
I miss him.
He was kind and gentle to me.
He became attached to me. And he is 16-years older than me. Lives there over the ocean... But I still miss him..
Let me see. Let me calculate. Let me plan... Let me go to hell and back if I know what I'm doing.
